"Let it Go"

Do you see that title? Do you know how uncomfortable all of those words together make me feel? Ugh, so uncomfortable.

But yes, that's what I learned last week. Coming off of five days w/o running felt like d.e.a.t.h. to me and I was unsure how to proceed with the MT (Marathon Training) schedule so I consulted a co-worker who is also an expert. She said "let it go. Take this week's long run, last week's long run, split the difference and let it go."

"But no!" I said, "That can't be! I HAVE to make up all of the runs! I have to run all of the miles! I can't be a slacker! I have to do this perfectly!"

"No one ever does this perfectly, Em, and injuries happen, so make sure you've taken care of yourself and then get back to running. You want to make this training as smooth as possible and you can only do that if you're at 100%"

Urgh co-worker, you are so right. I'm grateful to you for taking the time to speak with me about this!

But of course I needed to have a second, third, fourth opinion! So I asked my therapist! I said, "Therapist, what do I do! And not running for five days felt like the End Of The World."

To which my therapist astutely, accurately, and, of course, lovingly responds, "Let it go."

Oh, there was more!

She reminded me that yes, five days felt like the end of the world. That not moving for five days felt like beeline for death. And then she asked me to imagine two weeks of not moving. Fear and panic seized me and I'm sure I had that pretty "omg I'm so scared" look that I get when I think about feelings and other things and then she said "Well, in those two weeks of not moving, you forget that there are many more weeks to move."

BOOM. Did you hear that? That was my consciousness exploding and her words were all TRUE.

And then! Oh, and then! And then she said,

"You also forget that you have made a committment." (oh boy, did I smile when she said commitment - that is a word I love/hate.) "You have made a commitment to movement."

And I forget that!

I forget that if I don't move one day, I can/will move the next day! That I may not consider myself an official athlete or runner but I am an athletic person and I do run so why not consider myself both or just throw labels out the window and be me, Em, a person who likes to run!?

And so, buckets, here is my plan.

Intellectually, I have "let go" of last week's two runs (3 miles and 8 miles).
My heart may still hold one. I mean, I still might obsess just a little bit (it's progress not perfection, right?)
This week I've done 3 and 9.6 and 9.6 is a little bit over of "splitting the difference" between last week's 8 mile long run and this week's 10 miler.
I commit to running my 3 and my 5 mile runs this week.
I commit to trying to remember that one day off isn't the end of the world. And neither is five days.
And at some point I need to remember to buy a plane ticket for Michigan so I can actually run the marathon for which I have signed up!

Oooo check me out on DailyMile.com, that's where I post my training. Also I am so glad there is an event calendar thing on there so I can see what runs I have coming up - two in January, with one of them being a half marathon. Remember Staten Island in October? That was so hilly. This one coming up in Central Park will be, too! Just one foot in front of the other...